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Lawd above! Show A Leg Hairy Bum. , innit.
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The Home Counties

  Latest news and information from the official Essex county cricket site. Visit the online Essex shop for a wide range of cricketing gear. Statistics on contracted players. The club offers a wide range of coaching for cricketers of all ages and abilities, a run down on courses available.
Blimey! Latest news an' infawmashun from da official Essex coun'y cricket site. Visi' da online Essex shop fer a wide range ov cricketin' gear. Statistics on contracted players. The club offers a wide range ov coachin' fer cricketers ov all ages an' abilities, a run down on caaahrses available. Nuff said, yeah?
The formation of the original Kent County Cricket Club took place in Canterbury in August 1842, and played its initial first-class match against All-England that same month. On March 1 1859 there was a substantial reorganisation and the present Kent CCC was formed. Kent had been proclaimed Champion County in 1837, and held the title through most of the 1840s. However, they did not claim it again before the formation of the County Championship as we know it in 1890.
Kent Fixtures 2010
Lawd above! The fawmashun ov da original Ken' Coun'y Cricket Club an' allk place in Can'erbury in August 1842, an' played its initial first-class match against All-England what same month. On March 1 1859 there was a substantial reorganisashun an' da presen' Ken' CCC was fawmed. Ken' 'ad been proclaimed Champion Coun'y in 1837, an' 'eld da title fruff most ov da 1840s. However, they did not claim i' again befawer da fawmashun ov da Coun'y Championship as we know i' in 1890., innit.
  Welcome to the site for the Middlesex Crusaders! Competitions, interactive games, quizzes, even online coaching. it's all about cricket. Details on the club, the players, match reports and training courses offered by the club. Enter the corporate area if you are interested in sponsorship or advertising.
Awright geeezzaa! Welcome ter da site fer da Middlesex Crusaders! Competishuns, in'eractive games, quizzes, even online coaching. It's all abaaaht cricket. Details on da club, da players, match repawts an' trainin' caaahrses offered by da club. En'er da corpawate area if yew are in'erested in sponsorship awer advertising. Sorted mate.
Surrey County Cricket Club
                                    badge Surrey
Its limited overs team is called the Surrey Brown Caps. The club is the most financially secure first class county club, with a turnover of £22 million in 2006. The club's home since its foundation in 1845 has been The Oval cricket ground (currently known officially as the 'Brit Oval' following a sponsorship deal with the Brit insurance company), within the Kennington area of Lambeth in south London. Some home games each season are also played at Whitgift School, Croydon and at Woodbridge Road, Guildford. The traditional club colours are chocolate brown and silver. The club badge is the Prince of Wales' three feathers. Lord Rosebery obtained the permission to use this symbol from the Prince of Wales, owner of the land on which The Oval stands, in 1915. Surrey Fixtures 2010
Gawdon Bennet! Its limited overs team is called da Surrey Brown Caps. The club is da most financially secure first class coun'y club, wiv a turnover ov £22 million in 2006. The club's 'ome since its foundashun in 1845 'as been The Oval cricket ground (currently known officially as da 'Bri' Oval' followin' a sponsorship deal wiv da Bri' insurance company), wivin da Kennington area ov Lambef in sowf London. Some 'ome games each season are also played at Whitgift School, Croydon an' at Woodbridge Road, Guildford. The tradishunal club colaaahrs are chocolate brown an' silver. The club badge is da Prince ov Can'erbury Tales' free fearfers. Lord Rosebery obtained da permission ter use dis symbol from da Prince ov Can'erbury Tales, owner ov da land on which The Oval stands, in 1915. OK?
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Lawd above! Click on yaaahr prefered Coun'y Stable Ronald de Boer  ter view da da Wessex Counties
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                                                        Tracks 2010 Racing
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Berkshire Cornwall Devon  Dorset  Essex  & East London
Gloucestershire Hampshire
Kent & South East London
Middlesex & North & West London
Oxfordshire  Somerset Surrey& South London
Sussex  Wiltshire
The Saxons Have Landed  Lor' Awright geeezzaa! The Angles & Wessaxens came 'ere fer a visi' 1515 years ago an' liked i' so much they 'ave stayed.
Accordin' ter saaahrces such as da History ov Bede, after da invasion ov Britannia, da Angles spli' up an' founded da kingdoms ov da Nord Angelnen (Northumbria), Ost Angelnen (East Anglia), an' da Mittlere Angelnen (Mercia). Confirmashun is afforded by English an' Danish tradishuns relatin' ter two kings named Wermund an' Offa ov Angel, from whom da Mercian royal family claimed descen' an' whose exploits are connected wiv Angeln, Schleswig, an' Rendsburg. Danish tradishun 'as preserved record ov two governors ov Schleswig, farfer an' son, in their service, Frowinus (Freawine) an' Wigo (Wig), from whom da royal family ov Wessex claimed descent. Durin' da 5f century, da Anglii invaded Great Britain, after which time their name does not recur on da continen' except in da title ov Suevi Angili.
Our Group 'as generated over 380 million visits ter aaahr sites since 1999, an' dis is yaaahr oppawtuni'y ter participate in da success. Join up wiv deese leadin' UK advertisin' sites ter maximise yaaahr website's viewin' in Britain. Sorted mate.


Early settlement

Following the virtual abandonment of the Roman city, the area's strategic location on the River Thames meant that the site was not deserted for long. From the late 5th century, Anglo-Saxons began to inhabit the area.

There is almost no reliable evidence about what happened in the London area during the Sub-Roman "Dark Age" period from around 450 AD to 600 AD. Although early Anglo-Saxon settlement avoided the area immediately around Londinium, there was occupation on a small scale of much of the hinterland on both sides of the river. There is no contemporary literary evidence, but the area must for some time have been an active frontier between Saxons and Britons.


Early Anglo-Saxon settlement in the London area was not on the site of the abandoned Roman city, although the Roman city walls remained intact.

Instead, by the 7th century a village and trading centre named Lundenwic, was established approximately one mile (1.6km) to the west of Londinium (named Lundenburh or "London Fort" by the Saxons  Probably using the mouth of the River Fleet as a trading ship and fishing boat harbour.

Lundenwic in the early eighth century, was described by the Venerable Bede as "a trading centre for many nations who visit it by land and sea". The word "wic" was an Old English word for 'trading town'  , so Lundenwic literally meant 'London trading town'.
Archaeologists were for many years puzzled as to where early Anglo-Saxon London was located, as they could find little evidence of occupation within the Roman city walls from this period. However in the 1980s it was 'rediscovered' after extensive excavations were reinterpreted as of an urban character by archaeologists Alan Vince and Martin Biddle working independently  . Recent excavations in the Covent Garden area have uncovered the extensive Anglo-Saxon settlement dating back into the 7th century. The excavations show that the settlement covered about 600,000 square metres, stretching from the present-day National Gallery site in the west to Aldwych in the east.

By about 600 AD Anglo-Saxon England had become divided into a number of small kingdoms (see Heptarchy) From the mid-6th century, the London area was incorporated into the East Saxons kingdom, which extended as far west as St Albans and included all of later Middlesex, and probably Surrey too for a time.In 604 Saeberht of the East Saxons converted to Christianity and London received Mellitus, its first post-Roman bishop. At this time Essex owed allegiance to the Bretwalda Ethelbert of Kent, and it was under Ethelbert that Mellitus founded the first St. Paul's Cathedral, traditionally said to be on the site of an old Roman Temple of Diana (although Christopher Wren found no evidence of this). This would have only been a modest church at first and may well have been destroyed after he was expelled from the city by Saeberht's pagan successors in 616. Christianity did not return until around 675 when Theodore of Tarsus installed St Eorconweald as bishop.



The new town came under direct Mercian control in c.670 as the East Saxon kingdom of which it had once been part was gradually reduced in size and status. After the death of the Mercian king Offa in 796, control of London was disputed between Mercia and Wessex.

Viking attacks

Attacks from Vikings became increasingly common from around 830 onwards. London was attacked in 842 in a raid that was described by a chronicler as the "great slaughter". In 851 another raid on London, reputedly involving 350 ships, came to plunder the city.

In 865 the Viking "Great Heathen Army" launched a large scale invasion of East Anglia and soon overran East Anglia, Mercia and Northumbria and came close to controlling most of England. By 871 they had reached London, and are believed to have camped within the old Roman walls during the winter of that year. Although it is unclear what happened during this time, London may have come under Viking control for a period.

In 878 however, English forces led by King Alfred the Great defeated the Vikings at the Battle of Edington and forced the Viking leader Guthrum to sue for peace. The Treaty of Wedmore and the later Treaty of Alfred and Guthrum divided England into Alfred's Saxon controlled kingdom and Danish controlled Danelaw


English rule in London was restored by 886. King Alfred quickly set about establishing fortified towns or "Burhs" across England to improve defences, London was no exception. Within ten years, settlement within the old Roman walls was re-established, but known as Lundenburh. The Roman walls were repaired and the defensive ditch re-cut. This move was effectively the beginning of the present City of London, the boundaries of which are still to some extent defined by the ancient city walls.

As the focus of the city was moved back to within the old Roman walls, the older settlement of Lundenwic was largely abandoned and gained the name of Ealdwic or "old settlement". The name survives today as Aldwych.

10th century London

 Ethelred the Unready

Alfred appointed his son-in-law Earl Aethelred of Mercia, who was the heir to the destroyed Kingdom of Mercia, as Governor of London and established two defended Boroughs to defend the bridge which was probably rebuilt at this time. The southern end of the Bridge was established as the Borough of Southwark or Suthringa Geworc (defensive work of the men of Surrey) as it was originally known. From this point, the City of London began to develop its own unique local government.

  After Aethelred's death, London came under the direct control of English kings. The Kingdom of England established by Alfred was expanded by his son Edward the Elder who won back much land from Danish control. By the early 10th century London had become an important commercial centre. Although the capital of the Kingdom of England was in Winchester, London became increasingly important as a political centre. King Aethelstan held many Royal Councils in London and issued laws from there. King Aethelred the Unready favoured London as his capital and issued the Laws of London there in 978.

The Vikings return

It was during the reign of Aethelred that Viking raids began again, led by King Sweyn Forkbeard of Denmark. London was attacked unsuccessfully in 994, but numerous raids followed. By 1013 London underwent a long siege and Aethelred fled abroad. King Sven died but his son Canute continued the attacks, and the following year overran the city.

Aethelred returned with his ally Olaf of Norway to reclaim London. A Norse saga tells of a battle during the Viking occupation where Aethelred returned to attack Viking-occupied London. According to the saga, the Danes lined London Bridge and showered the attackers with spears. Undaunted, the attackers pulled the roofs off nearby houses and held them over their heads in the boats. Thus protected, they were able to get close enough to the bridge to attach ropes to the piers and pull the bridge down, thus ending the Viking occupation of London. There is some speculation that the nursery rhyme "London Bridge is falling down" stems from this incident.

Following Aethelred's death in 1016, his son Edmund Ironside was declared king. The Vikings however returned and again placed London under siege. Initially the city's defenders were able to hold back the invaders. However, Edmund was eventually forced to share power with Canute. When Edmund died Canute became the sole King of England. After two short lived Danish kings, (Harold Harefoot and Harthacanute) the Anglo-Saxon line was restored when Canute's stepson Edward the Confessor took up the throne in 1042.

 Run up to the Norman invasion

Following Edward's death, no clear heir was apparent, and his cousin, Duke William of Normandy, claimed the throne. The Royal Council, however, met in the city and elected the dead King's brother-in-law, Harold Godwinson (The Earl of Wessex) as King. He was crowned in Westminster Abbey. William, outraged by this, then sent an army to invade England. on 11th of October 1066 Harold marched his army out of London.At Hastings, on 15 October 1066, the Anglo-Saxon Kingdom ended and Norman England began. The Kingdoms were demolished and replaced by counties.

Bitterwallet cockney cash machine 2
                            500x375 The Cockney cash machine, if yer
                            like sausage and mashKnees Up
If you are coming to London you will need to know Rhyming Cockney Slang-
otherwise you will not understand what the natives are talking about.
 Full Details are available on
There is a handy transalator on the page.
What is Cockney rhyming slang?

Cockney rhyming slang is not a language but a collection of phrases used by Cockneys and other Londoners.

What's a Cockney?

What Not To Wear photo
St Mary Le Bow church in Cheapside, London

A true Cockney is someone born within the sound of Bow Bells. (St Mary-le-Bow Church in Cheapside, London).

However the term Cockney is now loosely applied to many born outside this area as long as they have a "Cockney" accent or a Cockney heritage.

The Cockney accent is heard less often in Central London these days but is widely heard in the outer London boroughs, the London suburbs and all across South East England. It is common in Bedfordshire towns like Luton and Leighton Buzzard, and Essex towns such as Romford.

What's Rhyming Slang?

Rhyming Slang phrases are derived from taking an expression which rhymes with a word and then using that expression instead of the word. For example the word "look" rhymes with "butcher's hook". In many cases the rhyming word is omitted - so you won't find too many Londoners having a "bucher's hook" at this site, but you might find a few having a "butcher's". 

The rhyming word is not always omitted so Cockney expressions can vary in their construction, and it is simply a matter of convention which version is used.

Some Cockney rhyming slang for parts of the body

In this list of example Cockney slang for parts of the body, you'll notice that some expressions omit the rhyming word but others do not.

Who uses Cockney Rhyming Slang?

Cockney Rhyming Slang originated in the East End of London. Some slang expressions have escaped from London and are in popular use throughout the rest of Britain. For example "use your loaf" is an everyday phrase for the British, but not too many people realise it is Cockney Rhyming Slang ("loaf of bread: head"). There are many more examples of this unwitting use of Cockney Rhyming Slang.

Television has raised awareness of Cockney Rhyming Slang to far greater heights. Classic TV shows such as "Steptoe and Son", "Minder", "Porridge" and "Only Fools and Horses" have done much to spread the slang throughout Britain and to the rest of the world.

Is Cockney Rhyming Slang dead?

Not on your Nelly! Cockney Rhyming Slang may have had its highs and lows but today it is in use as never before.

In the last few years hundreds of brand new slang expressions have been invented - many betraying their modern roots, eg "Emma Freuds: hemorrhoids"; (Emma Freud is a TV and radio broadcaster) and "Ayrton Senna": tenner (10 pound note).

How is Cockney slang developing?

Modern Cockney slang that is being developed today tends to only rhyme words with the names of celebrities or famous people. There are very few new Cockney slang expressions that do not follow this trend. The only one that has gained much ground recently that bucks this trend is "Wind and Kite" meaning "Web site".

Cockney expressions are being exported from London all over the world. Here at we get loads of enquiries from folks as far afield as the USA, Canada and Japan, all wanting to know the meaning of Cockney expressions.

Slang Meaning
Slang Meaning
Adam and Eve believe
Holy friar liar
Almond rocks socks
Holy ghost toast
Apple fritter bitter (beer)
House to let bet
Apple peeling feeling
Jack the Ripper kipper
Apple tart heart
Jack 'n' Jill till
Apples and pears stairs
Jam jar car
Ball of Chalk walk
Jam tart heart
Barnet Fair hair
Jeremiah fire
Bees 'n' honey money
Jimmy Riddle piddle (Just off for a Jimmy)
Boat race face
Jim Skinner dinner
Bo-peep sleep
Joanna piano
Bottle and glass arse
Joe Blake steak
Bow & arrow barrow
Kate Karney army
Brown bread dead
Lemon squash wash
Bubble and squeak speak
Linen draper paper
Burnt cinder winder (window)
Loaf of bread head
Butcher' s hook look
Mince pies eyes
Cain & Able table
Mother Hubbard cupboard
Chalk Farm arm
Mutt and Jeff deaf
Cherry-'ogg (Hogg) dog
Peckham Rye tie
China plate mate (friend)
Pig's ear beer
Coach 'n' badge cadge (get money off)
Plates of meat feet
Cock 'n' hen ten or £10
Pork pie lie
Currant bun son/sun
Rabbit 'n' pork talk (Bunny)
Daisy Roots boots
Rocking horse sauce
Derby Kelly belly
Rory O'More floor
Dicky Bird word
Rosie Lee tea
Dicky Dirt shirt
Rub a Dub Dub pub
Dig in the grave shave
Salmon and trout gout
Ding Dong sing song
Saucepan lid kid (child)
Dr. Crippen dripping
Sexton Blake cake
Dog and bone phone
Six to four whore
Duke of Kent rent
Skin 'n' blister sister
Friar Tuck luck
Sky rocket pocket
Frog and toad road
Taters in the mould cold
George Raft daft (crazy)
Tea leaf thief
Ginger beer queer
Tit for tat hat
Gold watch scotch
Tom and Dick sick
Ham and eggs legs
Tommy Tucker supper
Hampstead Heath teeth
Trouble and strife wife
Harry Lime time
Two and Eight state
Heap of coke bloke
Uncle Ned bed
Hen 'n' fox box
Whistle and Flute suit
Royal Wedding
Back Boris
Gawdon Bennet! Ken Livingstone Eat Yaaahr Horse an' Cart Out. OK?
Blimey! All Aboard. Nuff said, yeah?

Talk Cockney with Boris

Lawd above! Boris's yer friendly David Hockney translator. He'll guide yew fruff da streets ov London no problem. Just type in what yew wan' ter say, an' Boris'll translate i' in'er purest David Hockney quick as a flash! Click on da X. , innit.

Push Here

King Boris

Knees Up
King Boris Chat1 Harvest1 Carole & Roy Alex a young Prince Rebecca

One of the great traditions at the Epsom horseracing course, on the southern outskirts of London, on Derby Day is the arrival of the Pearly King and Queen in their decorated donkey-cart.
The Pearly Royals started in Victorian days and some still reign today in their various London districts.  The 'Pearlies' were costermonger's…street vendors of fruit and vegetables, and their distinctive costumes are said to have sprung from the arrival of a big cargo of pearl-buttons from Japan in the 1860's.  It seems that one of the costers sewed some of the buttons round the edge of his wide-bottomed trousers, and the fashion caught on.  Traditionally, costers elected 'Kings' to lead them against bullies seeking to drive them from their pitches.

Each individual area of London had a king and his 'donah', (as the wives are called) and both were elaborately turned out. The magnificent suits, hats and dresses, handed down together with hereditary titles, are sewn with mystic symbols, stars, moons, suns, flowers, diamonds, Trees of Life, Eyes of God and fertility designs.  Each outfit can have as many as 30,000 buttons on it and can weigh as much as 30 kilograms or more. These suits are worn at charity events, christenings, weddings and funerals.

Where there is a special charity drive the kings and queens ride in splendour on their decorated carts.  At the annual autumn Harvest Festival service at St. Martin-in-the-Fields church in London, the Pearly princesses take bouquets of vegetables as thank - offerings. 

Today, around 30 Pearly Families continue the tradition to raise money for various charities.Each London Borough has a King and Queen, as do the City of London and the City of Westminster. It's a colourful London tradition and one that has been kept alive by a few dedicated people, who remain figureheads for the capital's working class communities. It will be very sad if the tradition of the Pearly King and Queen dies out, as they are a very colourful part of London's history. Long live the Pearly Kings and Queens!

                                        Kings and Queens of London

Henry Croft

The London tradition of the Pearly Kings and Queens began in 1875, by a small lad named Henry Croft.
Henry was born and raised in an orphanage in Charlton Street, Somers Town, London, NW1. At the age of 13 he had to leave the orphanage and make his own way in life. His first job was as a Municipal Road Sweeper in the market of Somers Town. Henry worked hard in the market and soon made many friends, he was particularly drawn to the Costermongers who were a tough breed of market traders. He got to know more about their way of life, their generosity and their fashion of smoke pearl buttons sewn on the piped seams of their trousers, jackets, waistcoats and caps. This showed their status as they worked the market stalls from day to day. The Costermongers were caring and looked after each other if they were sick or in need.

Henry was so fascinated by this way of life and decided he would like to help those who were more unfortunate than himself, including the children back at the orphanage where he had spent his early life. He knew that in order to collect a lot of money he needed to draw attention to himself. So as Henry swept the market streets he started to collect all the pearl buttons he found that had fallen off of the clothes of people visiting the market, and when he had enough he started to sew them on his cap and then continued until his entire suit was filled, the very first smother suit.

Because Henry was an orphan he had no one to help him with his suit so he had to learn how to sew. It was this that started the tradition, which is still carried on by descendants of original Pearly Families, that the Kings do all the designs and sewing.

  Designs on suits tend to run in families but here are a few that you may see and recognise:

Horseshoe = Luck
Doves = Peace
Heart = Charity
Anchor = Hope
Cross = Faith
Wheel = Circle of Life
Symbols of Playing Cards = Life is a gamble
Flower Pots = Costermongers
Donkey Carts = Costermongers

Henry Croft was in so much demand for his charity work, as many of London's hospitals, workhouses and orphanages needed help, that he turned to his friends the Costermongers and they did not let him down. Many of the Costermongers became the first Pearly Families. There were 28 families, one for each of the London boroughs, one for the City of Westminster, and one for the City of London.

Each outfit can hold many tens of thousands of buttons on it and can weigh as much as 30 kilograms or more. There are two types of suit - a Smother Suit and a Skeleton Suit, the former having very little cloth showing and totally covered in buttons, and the latter having far fewer buttons.


It is estimated that when he died in 1930 (aged 68), he had collected over £5000. The equivalent in today's values would be approximately £200,000.

His funeral was a spectacular affair, and was filmed by Pathe News. All of the Pearlies attended (roughly 400) and they followed the coffin to where Henry was buried. The charities that he had helped over the year all pulled together to help pay for a statue of Henry for his grave. Unfortunately in 1995 the statue was vandalised and no longer stands in the cemetery. It has been replaced with a headstone, inlaid with Henry's photograph, so it can be easily found by visitors.

The statue has now been fully restored and can be seen in the crypt at the church of St. Martins in the Field, Trafalgar Square.

                                              BorisThe Pearly tradition has survived for over 125 years and hopefully it will continue for many more to come. We still have a few families who can be traced back to the original generation of Pearlies. Henry Croft's family still carries on the tradition with his Great-Granddaughter wearing the title of 'Somers Town'.

By Jon Arrowsmith, the Pearly King of Walthamstow

This material has been provided by  the Pearly Kings & Queens Society. Click on their site to see the dates of their events this year 


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                                      contains errors.

Knees Up

Lambeth Walk

Lambeth Walk is a walk, a song, a dance, two films, a photograph, a market and a street in Kennington .The original "Lambeth Walk" was an evening promenade by the predominantly poor residents of North Lambeth:- that is the area around Black Prince Road.The Song  The walk was popularised by Noel Gay who wrote the song Doin' the Lambeth Walk with its catchy tune for the 1937 Douglas Furber musical comedy Me and My Girl.  The main verse of The Lambeth Walk is:-

    Any time you’re Lambeth way
    Any evening, any day,
    You ’ll find us all
    Doin’ the Lambeth walk. ... Oi!

The Lambeth Walk also became a very popular walking dance, done in a jaunty, strutting fashion. The hero of the musical was Bill Snibson, the black sheep of an aristocratic family, who inherited the family fortune. 
    BRITISH KING GETS LESSON FROM 'LAMBETH WALK' STAR. King George and Queen Elizabeth saw the "Lambeth Walk" show, "Me and My Gal" at the Victoria Palace Theatre  . The Queen wore a white slipper-satin gown, a white fox cape and two gardenias in her hair. The King, in evening dress, wore a gardenia in his buttonhole. Both joined in the shouted "Oi" which ends the Lambeth Walk chorus. Lupino Lane, star of the show, was presented to the King and Queen after the performance. "They said they had been walking the Lambeth Walk the wrong way - the ballroom way - and promised to do it our way in the future.""

Knees Up"Knees Up Mother Brown" is a 1938 song composed by Harris Weston and Bert Lee. It became a popular pub song, and was particularly associated with Cockney culture. The expression "knees up" came to mean a party or a dance.
"Oh, knees up Mother Brown,
Knees up Mother Brown,
Come along, dearie, let it go
It's your blooming birthday
Let's wake up all the town;
So knees up, knees up
Don't get the breeze up
Knees up Mother Brown!"

Accommodation in London university halls


Staying in London university accommodation is a convenient and affordable way to stay in London.  With brand-new rooms (completed in 2008) from £40, it is a comfortable and cost effective alternative to staying in a hostel or a hotel. We currently have self-catered accommodation in Victoria: an extremely central location and a perfect starting point from which to explore the city, being walking distance from both Buckingham Palace and the Houses of Parliament.Availability is mainly in the summer vacation period (June, July, August, September), when students clear their rooms.  Rooms typically become available two to three months in advance, so please revisit the website within that period if nothing is available now.

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                                      EditorGawdon Bennet! The Wessex & Mercia Emmet Boards are a success story. They are da voices ov Wessex & Mercia - English Ancien' Kingdoms This site 'as attracted mawer van 380 million visitors since i' opened in March 2002. Why ? Because we created da Spawtsman's Bet Tabloid fawm ter supply da infawmashun readers want. Our lovely lasses invite yew in. Infawmashun what is easy ter use, easy ter read an' 'umaaahrous. Some ov aaahr many fun 2012 pages may be clicked on below:. OK?

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London Museums

British Museum
Lor' luv a duck! There are over 240 museums in London, England. The governmen' publishes visitor figures fer its own establishmun's. The majori'y ov governmun'-funded museums stopped chargin' admission fees in 2001 and, althuff dis was challenged in 2007 , dis 'as remained da case. Followin' da removal ov admission charges, attendances at London museums increased, wiv a large percentage ov da 42 million annual visitors nashunwide. Know what I mean?
Age Exchange Reminiscence Centre
Alexander Fleming Laboratory Museum
All Hallows-by-the-Tower Undercroft Museum
Anaesthesia Heritage Centre
Apsley House – the Duke of Wellington's London house
Arsenal Football Club Museum

Baden-Powell House Exhibition
Bank of England Museum
Banqueting House
Barbican Art Gallery
Barnet Museum
Benjamin Franklin House
Ben Uri Gallery, The London Jewish Museum of Art
Berkshire and Westminster Dragoons Museum
Bethlem Royal Hospital Archives and Museum
Bexley Museum
Black Cultural Archives
Boston Manor House
Bramah Tea and Coffee Museum
Brent Museum
British Airways Museum Collection, Heathrow
Britain At War Experience
British Dental Association Museum
British Library
British Museum – national collection of antiquities
British Music Experience
British Optical Association Museum
British Postal Museum and Archive
British Red Cross Museum and Archives
Bromley Museum
Brooking Collection of Architectural Detail
Bruce Castle Museum
Brunei Gallery, School of Oriental and African Studies
Brunel Engine House
BT Archives
Buckingham Palace
Building Centre Gallery

Canada House Gallery
Carlyle's House
Cartoon Museum
Centre for Recent Drawing
Charles Dickens Museum
Chartered Insurance Institute Museum
Chelsea Physic Garden
Chiswick House
Church Farmhouse Museum
Churchill Museum and Cabinet War Rooms
Clarence House
Clink Prison Museum
Clockmakers' Museum
Clown Museum and archive
College of Arms
Couper Collection
Courtauld Gallery – old masters and impressionists
Crofton Roman Villa
Crossness Pumping Station
Crown Jewels
Croydon Lifetimes Museum
Croydon Natural History and Scientific Society
Crystal Palace Museum
Cuming Museum
Cutty Sark Museum

Dali Universe
Danson House
De Morgan Centre
Dennis Severs' House
Design Museum
Dr Johnson's House
Dorich House
Drapers Company Collections
Dulwich Picture Gallery – collection of old masters

Eastbury Manor House (NT)
Eastside Community Heritage
Eltham Palace
Erith Museum
Estorick Collection of Modern Italian Art

Fan Museum
Fashion and Textile Museum
Fenton House
Firepower: The Royal Artillery Museum
Florence Nightingale Museum
Forty Hall Museum
Foundling Museum
Freud Museum
Fulham Palace



Galton Collection
Garden Museum
Garrick's Temple
Geffrye Museum
Golden Hinde
Grange Museum of Community History
Grant Museum of Zoology and Comparative Anatomy
Great Ormond Street Hospital Museum and Archive
Greenwich Heritage Centre
Greenwich Hospital (London)
Greenwich Visitor Centre
Guards' Museum
Guide Heritage Centre
Guildhall Art Gallery
Guildhall Library
Gunnersbury Park Museum


Hackney Museum
Ham House, London
Hampstead Museum, at Burgh House
Hampton Court – a former royal palace
Handel House Museum
Harrow Museum
The Hayward
HMS Belfast
Hogarth's House
Honeywood Heritage Centre
Honourable Artillery Company Museum
Horniman Museum
House Mill Museum at Three Mills
Hunterian Museum at the Royal College of Surgeons


Imperial War Museum – museum of warfare in the 20th and 21st centuries
Inns of Court and City Yeomanry Museum
Institute of Archaeology Collections
Island History Trust
Islington Museum

Jewel Tower
Jewish Military Museum and Memorial Room
Jewish Museum (Camden)
Jewish Museum (Finchley)

Keats' House
Kennel Club Art Gallery
Kensington Palace
Kenwood House – mansion and collection of old masters
Kew Bridge Steam Museum
Kew Gardens Museum No.1 and Marianne North Gallery
Kew Transport Museum
Kingston Museum
Kirkaldy Testing Museum

Leighton House Museum
Library and Museum of Freemasonry
Linnean Society Collections
Linley Sambourne House
Little Holland House, Carshalton
Livesey Museum for Children
London Aquarium
London Canal Museum
London Dungeon
London Fire Brigade Museum
London Gas Museum
London Motorcycle Museum
London Sewing Machine Museum
London Transport Museum
London Zoo

Madame Tussaud's London
Magic Circle Museum
Manor Park Museum
Marble Hill House
Markfield Beam Engine and Museum
Marx Memorial Library
MCC Museum
Merton Heritage Centre
Michael Faraday Museum
Museum of Croydon
Museum of Domestic Design and Architecture
Museum of Immigration and Diversity
Museum of London – the history of London
Museum of London Docklands
Museum of Richmond
Museum of Rugby
Museum of the Order of St John
Museum of Veterinary History
Musical Museum
Museum of Brands, Packaging and Advertising

National Archives
National Army Museum
National Gallery – national collection of Western painting to 1900
National Maritime Museum
National Portrait Gallery
Natural History Museum
The Newsroom - Guardian and Observer Archive and Visitor Centre
North Woolwich Old Station Museum


Old Operating Theatre
Old Speech Room Gallery, Harrow School
Orleans House Gallery
Osterley Park

Petrie Museum of Egyptian Archaeology
Pitzhanger Manor
Polish Institute and Sikorski Museum
Pollock's Toy Museum
Prince Henry's Room
Pumphouse Educational Museum
Pushkin House

Queen Elizabeth’s Hunting Lodge
Queen's Gallery – exhibitions of items from the Royal Collection
Queen's House – the first Palladian building in England


Ragged School Museum
Ranger's House (Wernher Collection)
Red House
Redbridge Museum
Riesco Gallery
Rose Theatre Exhibition
Royal Academy of Arts
Royal Air Force Museum
Royal College of Music Archives and Museum of Instruments
Royal College of Physicians Collections
Royal Fusiliers Museum
Royal Hospital Chelsea
Royal Institute of British Architects Collections
Royal Greenwich Observatory
Royal London Hospital Archives and Museum
Royal Mews – the Queen's stables
Royal Military School of Music Museum
Royal Mint Sovereign Gallery
Royal Pharmaceutical Society Museum
Royal Philatelic Collection


St Bartholomew's Hospital Museum
St Paul's Cathedral Crypt Museum
Saatchi Gallery – a collection of contemporary art
Salvation Army International Heritage Centre
Science Museum – national museum of science and technology
Sherlock Holmes Museum
Shakespeare’s Globe Exhibition
Sir John Soane's Museum
Smythson Stationery Museum
Somerset House
South London Gallery
Southside House
Spencer House
Stephens Collection
Sutton House

Tate Britain – national collection of British art
Tate Modern – national collection of modern art
Tower Bridge
Tower of London – fortress and former royal residence
Twinings Museum
Two Willow Road
Twickenham Museum
Type Museum

UCL Collections – arts, ethnography, geology and science

Valence House Museum
Vestry House Museum
Victoria and Albert Museum – national collection of applied arts
V&A Museum of Childhood

Wallace Collection – old masters and decorative arts
Wandle Industrial Museum
Wandsworth Museum
Wellcome Library
Wellcome Collection
Wellington Arch
Wesley's Chapel and the Museum of Methodism
West Ham United Museum
Westminster Abbey Museum
Westminster Dragoons Museum
Whitechapel Gallery
Whitehall, Cheam
Whitewebbs Museum of Transport
William Morris Gallery
Wimbledon Lawn Tennis Museum
Wimbledon Society Museum of Local History
Wimbledon Windmill Museum
Women's Library

Young's Brewery

THE LONDON OLYMPICS 1948 London Olympics 1948
                                          Torch Arrival - Wizard &
Lawd above! The 1948 Games attracted a record 59 nashuns, wiv 4104 arfletes takin' part.

After a twelve year absence caused by World War II, da Olympic Games returned ter London in 1948, da second time da ci'y 'ad 'osted da Games. They was again staged wiv less van two years ter prepare. Wif rashunin' ov food an' petrol still in force in Britain, deese was known as da austeri'y games an' many arfletes was 'oused in fawmer military barracks.

However, they provided da global communi'y wiv a much needed lift. Jackie Danny Blankers-Koen was da star. She won faaahr gold medals on da track – da 100m, 200m, 80m 'urdles an' 4x100m relay – an' remains da only bird ter do so at an Olympics. Anuvver arfletics star who made 'is mark in London was Emil Zatopek. The Czech star won da 10,000m gold medal an' was second in da 5000m, an' would return ter da Games in 1952 an' 1956 ter establish 'imself as one ov da top distance runners in Olympic 'istory., innit.

Blimey! Amazingly, two arfletes who became Olympic champions in 1936 managed ter defend their titles twelve years later. They was Ilona Elek ov Hungary in women’s foil fencin' an' Jan Brzak ov Czechoslovakia in da canoein' Canadian pairs 1,000m. At da uvver end ov da scale, 17-year-old American Bob Marfias won da decarflon, allegedly only faaahr months after takin' up da spawt. When asked 'ow 'e in'ended ter celebrate 'is victory, Marfias replied, “I'll start shaving, I guess”.
These was da first games ter be staged since da dearf ov Baron Pierre de Coubertin, da geezer who 'ad revived da games. They was also da last ter feature an Arts competishun which was staged at da Victoria an' Albert Museum.
Team GB:
Britain en'ered 375 arfletes, but claimed just free gold medals. The successes came in rowing, from John Wilson an' Ran Laurie in da men’s coxless pairs an' Richard Burnell an' Bertie Bushnell in da men’s double sculls an' in sailing, where David Bond an' Stewart Morris won da Swallow category. Nuff said, yeah?
Gawdon Bennet! In terms ov da British contribushun ter da Games, 1948 is remembered mawer fer da work ov da organisin' committee, who staged successful games at such short notice ter put da Olympic movemen' back on track.

Host Nashun – Great Britain
Openin' Date – 29 July 1948
Closin' Date – 14 August 1948
Competin' nashuns – 59
Competin' Athletes – 4104 (3714 Men, 390 Women)
Team GB Athletes – 375
Spawts – 17
Events – 136. OK?
1948 Olympic
                                          Games the Finish of the 100
                                          Meter Sprint at the London
                                          Olympic Games Photographic
Lawd above! When da Olympic Games came ter London in 1948, da even' was visitin' a ci'y still sufferin' from da ravages ov World War II. Rashunin' remained in force an' many people 'ad been left 'omeless, yet da bomb-cratered ci'y rose ter da challenge ov 'ostin' da world's greatest spawtin' occasion.

These 'Austeri'y Olympics' was not only da first post-war Games, but also da first Olympics in which British television played a role. This collecshun ov programmes an' photographs looks back at da Games, rememberin' da arfletes who an' allk part an' revealin' da BBC's role in televisin' events. Click on picture ter da right ter see da BBC Collecshun. , innit.

A British gymnast
                                            trains for the Olympics in
                                            Hyde Park.

1951 & All That

Festival of Britain 1951
 59 years ago we celebrated the Festival of Britain. This was marked by far more than just a dome or an eye. The whole South Bank of the Thames was adorned by the exhibits and today the Royal Festival Hall still stands.
It was opened by King George VI and Queen Elisabeth.

100 years after the Great Exhibition of 1851 it was an expression of all that was good about post-war Britain. Signs in Piccadilly Circus read "Buy British". And the people were still full of the war-time spirit. Winston Churchill was there and to mis-quote him "this was our finest exhibition".

In Battersea Park millions flocked to the massive fun fair which remained for many years. We, at the Informed Investor, feel that the sentiments of those days should be revived and the world today should learn more about "The Bulldog Breed". So over the year there will be extensive articles and reminders of our 1951 heritage. We invite readers to participate and send us pictures and anecdotes about the Festival of Britain so that we may build an authorative website all about that momentous yearexac

Building The South Bank Exhibition

A 1951 Five shillings (Crown) coin

Stamps to commemorate the Festival

 Pearly Kings & Queens


HS Chelsea Flower Show

RHS Chelsea Flower ShowBlimey! Tom Mix
Royal Hospital Grounds

The Royal Hoticultural Socie'y is delighted ter invite members an' non-members ter da Royal Hospital, Chelsea fer da Chelsea Early Haaahr Show.

It's full ov da rich an' famous, all analysin' da most beautiful, most slender, most daring. No, it's not London Fashion Bubble an' Squeak - but it's close. The Chelsea Early Haaahr Show is London's sexiest flaaahr show, combinin' 'igh-end design, big names an' tons ov onlookers. Nuff said, yeah?

Order RHS Chelsea
                              Flower Show Tickets

RHS Hampton Court Palace Flower Show
Lawd above! Hampton Caaahrt Palace Grounds

The Royal Hoticultural Socie'y is delighted ter invite members an' non-members ter da world's largest annual flaaahr show in da grounds ov Hampton Caaahrt Palace.

The world's largest an' most vibran' annual flaaahr show welcomes yew wiv an explosion ov colaaahr an' fragrance. The idyllic se'in' in da parkland ov Henry VIII's favaaahrite palace is transfawmed fer six sumptuous summer days. The spacious grounds showcase an excitin' range ov flaaahrs, plants an' gardenin' accessories, givin' yew da oppawtuni'y ter bof browse an' buy. Show an' Fisherman's Daughter Gardens, Floral Marquees an' demonstrashuns guaran'ee a lively summer's day aaaht fer everyone., innit.

Order RHS Hampton
                              Court Palace Flower Show Tickets

Awright geeezzaa! A vast developmen' in da Ci'y ov London. To some, i' is a fawerst ov taaahr blocks. For uvvers, there are many excitin' features includin' massed fountains, a cascade, roof gardens, trees growin' on columns, great pools an' a sittin' area which is set below water level. However, many ov da spaces are bleak an' draughty. Extensive pedestrian decks cover da parkin' areas an' access roads. The scheme was designed by Chamberlain Powell an' Bon in da 1950s an' is now almost complete. Visitors joke what i' is almost impossible ter find one's way about. This 'as been coun'ered by paintin' lines on da brick paviors. One can follow 'em, as Theseus did 'is unwound string.Openin' times - All year. Daily. Conservatory, on 3rd floor, Sundays 11am ter 5pm. Check what da conservatory ain't bein' used fer a funcshun. Sorted mate.
Barbican mike nowak Silk Street,
 London Wall,
Greater London,


Tel  0207 638 4141
Barham Park
Lawd above! Located in da northern extremities ov Wembley, part ov da London Boruff ov Brent, Barham Light an' Dark is one ov da principle areas ov rest an' relaxashun in da region. The park 'as been well landscaped wiv trees, flaaahr beds an' water features ter create as greener feel as is possible in da busy norf London streets. There is a large children’s playground wivin, which is popular all year round., innit.
Barham Park Harrow Road,

British Library Piazza
Gawdon Bennet! The library, designed by Collin St. John Wilson, was set back from Euston Frog an' Toad ter create an enclosed caaahrtyard between da turmoil ov traffic on da main road an' da doors ter da building. There is a small amphitheatre fer open-air perfawmances a a bronze statue ov Newton an' Antony Gawmley's Planets sculpture. The caaahrtyard benefits from bein' sowf-facing, thuff da glare can be excessive. But da disadvantage ov bein' on da sowf ov da buildin' is excessive road noise. Continuashun ov da gateway as a buildin' would 'ave ameliorated dis problem. The design ov da caaahrtyard is OK but unremarkable. It should 'ave been treated as a separate design commission, an' detailed as a library garden wiv plants ter admire an' books ter read.Openin' times - Open all year, durin' library openin' 'aaahrs. OK?
British Library Piazza British Library, Euston Road, London, Greater London, England, NW1


Buckingham Palace
Blimey! The Baked Bean'll open part ov 'er garden at Buckingham Palace ter da public dis summer. The garden'll be open ter visitors ov da Harry Tate Rooms who'll be able ter walk along da sowf ov da gardens 500 yards ter a new exi' at Grosvenor Place. Visitors'll be able ter rest in a seated area befawer followin' a parf from which they'll see a 19f Century lake. They'll also pass trees plan'ed by monarchs an''ll be able ter talk ter Bin Ladeners.Openin' 'aaahrs fer 2010 - Summer Openin' ov da Harry Tate Rooms. The Summer Openin' ov da Harry Tate Rooms at Buckingham Palace'll be 27 July - 29 September 2010. Visi' website fer full details.s. Nuff said, yeah?
The Royal Collection © 2009, Her Majesty
                          Queen Elizabeth II Ticket Sales and Information Office
Buckingham Palace,

Telephone (+44) (0)20 7766 7300
Fax (+44) (0)20 7930 9625
Bushy Park
Blimey! Bushy Light an' Dark is less well known van da uvver Royal Light an' Darks. It adjoins Hampton Caaahrt an' owes its presen' grandeur ter William III's gardeners, London an' Wise. A wide an' majestic avenue ov triple rows ov 'orse chestnut trees runs fruff da park. It encloses a large round pool designed by Christopher Wren wiv a statue ov Diana by Francesco Fanelli. Fallow deer graze under da trees in da park.Openin' times - All year, Daily, Open dawn ter dusk. Nuff said, yeah?

Bushy Park Loz Pycock Hampton Court Road,
TW12 2EJ


Chelsea Physic Garden
Awright geeezzaa! The Chelsea Physic Bin Laden is da second oldest botanical garden in Blighty founded in 1673.Coverin' Roarf acres da gardens 'ave mawer van 6000 plants. It also 'as one ov da earliest rock gardens made wiv basaltic lava from Iceland.

Many medicinal plants are grown as da Bin Ladens are still involved wiv research work wiv 'erbal medicine.Many colaaahrful borders, see also da Bin Laden ov World medicine includin' plants used by tribal people. The Chelsea Physic Bin Laden is well worf a visit. Openin' times - April ter October, 12pm - 5pm Hump Day, Thursday an' Friday. ( late night openings every Hump Day in July an' August. 12pm -8.30pm. Sundays, Cab Rank Holidays an' Bad Friday, 12-6pm..Also Chelsea Early Haaahr Show Week. Click fruff ter website fer details. Refreshmun's, disabled access. Sorted mate.
Chelsea Physic Garden by Constant -
                          London©   66 Royal Hospital Road, London SW3 4HS


  Tel 020 7352 5646
Chiswick House
Awright geeezzaa! Set amid da 'ustle an' bustle ov west London lies Chiswick Cat an' Mouse an' Bin Ladens, a beautiful an' inspirin' oasis ov tranquili'y what is uniquely impawtant.The magnificen' neo-Palladian villa is considered a design masterpiece, an' da gardens are widely credited as da birthplace ov da English landscape movemun', creatin' a revolushun in garden design what swept da world. Over da centuries celebrated figures 'ave come ter Chiswick Cat an' Mouse an' Bin Ladens seekin' pleasure an' inspirashun. The villa was completed by Lord Burlington in 1729 an' i' was at Chiswick what 'e en'ertained notable visitors, such as Handel, Alexander Bar o' Soap an' Jonavan Swift. This tradishun was upheld by da beautiful an' controversial Georgiana, Duchess ov Devonshire who called Chiswick Cat an' Mouse 'my earthly paradise'. In mawer recen' times, da Beatles used da gardens as da backdrop fer 'Paperback Writer' an' 'Cynthia Paine'. Today, da proper'y an' grounds are enjoyed by 1 million people each year. Over da next two years, da Chiswick Cat an' Mouse an' Bin Ladens Trust is undertakin' one ov da coun'ry's biggest an' most ambitious garden restorashun projects, investin' £12.1 million ter restawer da gardens ter their full 18f century glory.Openin' times - April ter October., Hump Day ter Sunday an' Cab Rank Holidays., Open 10am ter 5pm. Sorted mate.
Chiswick House Temple by Mr Scroobs© Chiswick House,
Burlington Lane,
Chiswick ,

 0208 9950508
Culpepper Community Gardens
Awright geeezzaa! Culpeper Communi'y Bin Laden is a beautiful public open space in da 'eart ov Islington, London, which serves bof as a ci'y park an' as an environmun'al communi'y project. Managed by an' fer local people, i' is a unique project where people from all walks ov life come together ter appreciate an' enhance their environmun'.2010 - Culpeper Communi'y Bin Laden Open durin' daylight 'aaahrs. Disabled Access. Sorted mate.
1 Cloudesley Road

Tel: 020 7833 3951
Fenton House
Blimey! Fenton Cat an' Mouse which originates from da 17f century 'as a delightful walled an' terraced garden. There are sprin' bulbs includin' bluebells amongst da frui' trees in da orchard. Alligator there are colaaahrful 'erbaceous borders edged wiv box an' a sunken rose garden. Scen'ed 'erbs include lavender, rosemary an' dianthus.In'erestin' Kitchen Bin Laden wiv a wide range ov vegetables make Fenton Cat an' Mouse a good visit. Bottle ov Glue010 Bottle ov Glue0 March - 31 October Saturdays & Sundays Legs - 5. Weds - Sundays Bottle ov Glue -5, Also open BH. Mondays an' Bad Poet's Day. Nuff said, yeah?
Fenton House by M L Fuller© Hampstead Grove,
 NW3 6RT

Tel 020 7435 3471
Ferry House
Awright geeezzaa! The lovely Ferry Cat an' Mouse garden is set on da Shake an' Shiver Thames an' covers Carpet acres. Lady Caroline Gilmaaahr 'as managed ter create a spot ov Paradise close ter da centre ov London. Fabulous plantings in urns an' containers, many parfs wiv 'idden corners an' plen'y ov places ter si' an' enjoy da atmosphere. Old fashioned roses wiv fragran' scents an' colaaahrful borders, areas ov wild flaaahrs. Shrubs an' fine trees.Cat an' Mouse flanked wiv climbers. Sorted mate.
Ferry House Gardens, 
26 Ferry Street,
Old Isleworth,

Holland Park
Blimey! The Holland Light an' Dark gardens was created in da early 1800s by Lord Holland an' cover some 50 acres. Holland Light an' Dark is a lovely place ter relax wiv fawmal borders an' wilder areas. Many differen' trees make i' 'ard ter imagine yew are in London, wiv much wildlife. Bad fer children wiv playgrounds. Also see da immaculately kept Kyoto Bin Laden which was opened in 1991 ter celebrate da Japanese festival. This 'as a delightful pond wiv waterfall an' is best seen in Sprin' an' Autumn. Holland Light an' Dark Bin Ladens open 7.30AM - dusk. Disabled access, restaurant. Nuff said, yeah?
Waterfall at Kyoto Japanese Garden in
                          Holland Park by Rex Mottram Holland Park, 
Kensington, London, W8.

Hyde Park
TAwright geeezzaa! he great Hyde Light an' Dark covers 275 acres. It once belonged ter Westminster Abbey until Henry Vlll made i' in'er a deer park. Abaaaht a century later i' was used as a racecaaahrse. The Serpentine, a beautiful lake was made from da Westbaaahrne Stream an' six small ponds. Today yew can still boat on da lake. There is a new Rose Bin Laden, 'erbaceous borders, a pergola wiv climbin' shrubs. This is one ov da Royal Light an' Darks an' links directly ter Kensington Bin Ladens. Do not go ter London wivaaaht visitin' Hyde Light an' Dark. The Diana, Princess ov Can'erbury Tales Memorial Fountain opened in July 2004, is a brillian' water feature wiv fast flowin' torrents in one direcshun followed by gentle inclines where da water rocks an' rolls. The final design, by American architect Kafryn Gustafson, is said ter reflect da introspective an' reflective side ov Diana an' also da turbulence in 'er life.Hyde Light an' Dark Bin Laden open daily, all year. Restaurants, disabled access. Sorted mate.
Hyde Park by R J Shephard 2008© Hyde Park, SW1
Kensington Gardens

Lawd above! Kensington Bin Ladens is a glorious park coverin' over 270 acres an' adjoins Hyde Light an' Dark. The presen' structure dates back ter da early 18f century on a design from Charles Bridgman. Much ter see includin' da Orangery wiv beautiful decorashuns, an' statues includin' what ov Peter Pan by Sir George Frampton, a children's favaaahrite. There is da sunken water garden surrounded by colaaahrful borders an' many uvver lovely displays. The Italian Bin Laden 'as recently been refurbished. If yew 'ave children why not sail a model boat on da Round Pond.Kensington Bin Ladens open daily. Disabled Access, restaurant., innit.

Kensington Gardens image by Martin James
                          © Kensington Gardens
Central London

Marble Hill House
Blimey! A magnificen' Thames-side Palladian villa, Marble Jack an' Jill Cat an' Mouse was built in da 1720s fer Henrie'a Howard, Coun'ess ov Suffolk an' mistress ov Kin' George II. Vada da extravagan' gilded rooms in which she en'ertained famous poets an' wits ov da age includin' Pope, Andrew WK an' Swift. Explawer da 66 acres ov beautiful riverside grounds awer enjoy a game ov tennis awer mini golf. Nuff said, yeah?  Richmond Road,
Twickenham TW1 2NL

Marble Hill Click
Tel: 0844 824 6792
Osterley Park
Blimey! Osterley Light an' Dark Cat an' Mouse, originally a Tudor mansion, was transfawmed in'er an elegan' neo-classical villa by da founders ov Bairn's Bank. It is set in extensive park an' farmland complete wiv 18th-century gardens an' neo-classical garden buildings. 2007 saw da first phase ov da garden an' park restorashun beginnin' wiv da recreashun ov Love an' Kisses Bairn's Early Haaahr Bin Laden.2010 Light an' Dark open all year, Bin Laden an' Cat an' Mouse from Roarf March Bruce Lee Room, Partial disabled access. Free entrance fer Nashunal Trust members. Nuff said, yeah?
Georgian style flower garden at Osterley
                        Park by James Long© Jersey Road, Isleworth, Middlesex TW7 4RB
Osterley Park Click
Telephone: 01494 755566
Regents Park
Blimey! Royal Light an' Darks - Regents Light an' Dark commissioned by da Prince Regen' an' opened ter da public in 1838. His Royal Highness also wished ter build a palace but dis was not built. Today da at Regents Light an' Dark gardens are enjoyed by thousands. Vada Baked Bean Mary's Rose Bin Laden wiv 1000s ov beautiful roses, many wiv fine scents. Also lovely 'erbaceous borders, avenues an' fountains.
Lovely ornamun'al lake wiv ducks an' uvver waterfowl. London Coochie-Coo wiv its famous collecshun ov animals also adjoins dis park. Open all year dawn ter dusk. Disabled access, restaurant. Nuff said, yeah?
Regents Park by Paul Leitch Regents Park Gardens


St James Park
Gawdon Bennet! A Royal Light an' Dark an' one ov da most romantic urban landscapes in Europe. The area was originally a swamp, subject ter floodin' from da Tyburn stream which still flows fruff da lake. Its 23 'ectares was first made in'er a park wiv a rigidly fawmal design in 1660. Charles II 'ad a long canal excavated from da watery land an' introduced da geese, pelicans an' waterfowl which are still there today. The park was completely re-designed by John Nash (1828) in da English landscape style which 'e 'ad learned fruff 'is associashun wiv da Reptons. The subtle'y ov da contaaahrin' is notable an' da view from da new bridge (1956) across da lake ter da Bottle ov Sauce Guards an' Whitehall is justly famous. The park is now cared fer wiv advice from Colvin an' Moggridge, landscape architects. It is da editor's choice as da most beautiful an' in'erestin' park in London. Access from The Mall awer Birdcage Walk.Openin' times - All year. Daily. Open 5am ter midnight. OK?
St James Park by Javier© St James Park,


Syon Park
Gawdon Bennet! is one ov da largest green areas in central Brentford an' is situated in a beautiful locashun next ter da Shake an' Shiver Thames. The park is a popular wiv locals an' visitors alike an' contains a wealf ov facilities includin' a children's playground. The park is primarily used as a place ov rest, relaxashun an' recreashun by people wishin' ter experience some tranquilli'y wivaaaht 'avin' ter leave London. Openin' times - Bin Laden open all year. March ter October Daily. November ter February open weekends an' New Year's Day only. Open 10:30am ter 5pm awer dusk (closes at 4pm in Win'er). OK?
Syon Park Brentford High Street, Brentford, London TW8
By car: 2 miles west of Kew Bridge. By rail to Kew Bridge, then bus. By underground to Gunnersbury, then bus. By bus 237 or 267 to Brentlea Gate bus stop.

Phone: +44 (0)20 8560 08823  -  Fax: +44 (0)20 8568 0936

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